The San Benito “Anti-Selection Committee” Committee is a group of citizens formed to hold accountable the actions of San Benito CISD administrators during their search for a new head football coach and athletic director. And if you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re not fans of selection committees doing the job that the aforementioned administrators and elected officials are responsible for… but our little club is okay. Together, we plan to offer commentary on hot button issues currently buzzing during the AD/head football coach search. Expect us to offer our two cents every weekend in the San Benito News.
Hi. I’m Heather Cathleen Cox. You might know me from somewhere, but it assuredly isn’t sports-related. ESPN may as well be a four-lettered, dirty word in my house. That said, I believe that even though I’m a graduate of Harlingen High and a proud Cardinal, I am a perfect candidate to be a part of the San Benito “Anti-Selection Committee” Committee.
Why? Well, I know a thing or two about football. Seriously, my knowledge is limited to two things, so I hope there is no quiz at any point. Let’s get down to it. Thing #1: I like how teammates all play in unison, rallying for and around the ball. Shows camaraderie how they all wear matching uniforms. It’s adorbs. Thing #2, I really enjoy watching football live, so as to interact with other fans as they cheer on their favorite players!
My favorite football player, you ask? Hm. This is a tough one, but I’d have to go with Beckham. That’s right, David Beckham. Yes, I know we’re talking about football. European football, no?
Oh (crickets chirping)… the point of this committee is to discuss American football? Well you should’a said so. All I know about American football is that it’s America’s favorite pastime. Wait. What’s that? America’s favorite pastime is baseball?
Well, this has certainly been enlightening. And who’s Rusty Dowling anyway?
So Rusty Dowling wants out of San Benito and Heather Cathleen Cox wants in. Where did it all go wrong?
I suppose we should talk business first. With that said, I cannot speak for Dowling or why he decided to bail, but some have indicated that there was an issue with the contract. Still, contracts are negotiable, so I can only assume that San Benito—a hotbed of political activity—may not have been an environment he deemed ideal to work in. Then again, no situation is ideal when it concerns high school football and the accompanying politics/fanaticism associated with it. I was almost inclined to ask him, “Can’t take the heat?” But, after some thought, I figured he may have been right to drop us like a bad habit. Think about it. The school district he was to consult is essentially paying for two superintendents, two police chiefs and, at one point, two athletic directors; its Board of Trustees remains at war with each other and the community is just as divided.
And then there’s Heather, a Harlingen High School graduate who wants to contribute to a committee dedicated to scrutinizing the selection process of San Benito’s new head football coach. Well, because I know you’re an intelligent woman who strives for perfection, you’re in, Heather… But on one condition: The photo accompanying your weekly piece must be of your days as a Greyhound fan. Take it or leave it. Nice selfy, by the way.
We are only in our second week of existence and I have already forgotten the purpose of our itty bitty committee.
For instance, we were told to pen a response to Ms. Heather Cathleen Cox’ written perspective of the whole San Benito athletic director/head football coach issue… you know, from a Harlingen Cardinal fan’s point of view. I suppose her two cents were necessary to try to stir the pot, but stir the pot she did not. I came away with nothing after reading her point of view, or lack thereof.
As far as my opinion of Cardinal fans: I have none. While I suppose I understand our obligatory mutual disdain for one another, I just don’t really feel anything for or against these people (when it’s not high school football season). And if Cox (whom I know personally to be a very lovely and sincere individual) is any indication, then I am positive that they are all pleasant people (when it’s not high school football season). But why should you, or I, or anyone really care for their opinions? A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep. Greyhounds do not concern themselves with the opinions of birds.
On a separate note, what is the deal with Rusty Dowling? Why pass up a chance to work in such a friendly environment like San Benito? If only we had some sort of committee for all of this…
Well, I am not one to judge someone I have never met. That is something I have to keep in mind in my line of work (law enforcement). Everyone has a story and a history. And my job is to assess the current situation with the information I have gathered and from past knowledge. So what do I know of you, Heather? Seems like you would like to attain a certain position to which your opinions will be seen or heard by the masses. Yet you stated yourself you really don’t have much to offer in terms of your knowledge.
And then there’s my first hand experiences back in high school basketball with the Cardinals. The opposing coach would get the girls to rack up the score to sub in the second string players. All the while, the first stringers sat on the bench laughing and taunting us. They didn’t even shake our hands. The Cards were a no mercy type of team, and from what I see now of most HHS graduates, they are forever faithful to their creed.
Are you a Trojan horse, or the keep your friends close and enemies closer type of deal? I suggest a boot camp-style initiation filled with exercises like burpees, push-ups, squats and a 3-mile run; all the while being asked Greyhound trivia. If you pass, you play.
Regarding Rusty Dowling, I suggest the next consultant, if there is one, be put through the same initiation process.
I guess it’s back to the drawing board now that Rusty Dowling took a one-way train to Splitsville. Holy moly! Caped Crusader where are you? Someone turn on the Bat Signal!
In the meantime, I’d like to welcome Heather to the “Anti-Selection Committee” Committee. Regarding your article, it’s American football we’re talking about. The football we’re talking about has brown leather and laces, weighs 13 pounds and is shaped like a fat, rounded saucer but has no lights nor is considered a UFO by any lengths. It can be kicked and tossed by guys who yell out names such as: “Hutt, 45, Hutt, 99, Omaha, Omaha… Hutt!”
Like soccer fans, American fans like to cheer together at games. We take it one step further by tailgating (setting up shop outside) and barbecuing before the game, eating ribs and talking football, but we don’t all necessarily enter the actual game. Go figure. In soccer, upon scoring a broadcaster yells “Goal!” Scoring in American football is usually indicated when the referees raise their arms up—a position Justin Bieber must be familiar with following his arrest. Celebration dances like a moonwalk, salsa or the dirty bird often ensue after a score.
No offense, Heather, but before you leave the Dark Side as a Harlingen Cardinal, you’ll have to show the Committee your allegiance by addressing Committee President Michael Rodriguez as Master Yoda!
It’s difficult to decide whether we should seriously consider Ms. Heather Cathleen Cox. On one hand, she’s a Harlingen High School graduate and staunch supporter of her beloved Cardinals (puke). On the other hand, she’s been known to don the purple and gold for an entire week (thanks in large part to losing a bet with the San Benito “Anti-Selection Committee” Committee’s fearless leader, Michael Rodriguez). Sure, she was forced to be a Greyhound for a week, but once a Greyhound, always a Greyhound… right?
Okay, so there’s clearly some ambiguity that needs to be addressed. I liked Rebecca’s idea of putting Heather through a Greyhound-style boot camp.
Hmm. Decisions, decisions. I suppose we should stop beating around the bush as this is clearly a case for the Magic 8 Ball.
Me: Should we welcome Harlingen Heather into our committee?
Magic 8 Ball: Signs point to yes.
There you have it. Welcome aboard, Heather!
On to more pressing matters. I hear that Rusty Dowling bailed on San Benito. Like my colleagues have suggested, I nominate our committee to conduct the search for a new head coach. As you can see, we’re obviously qualified for the job. You’d be fools to deny us.