By MICHAEL RODRIGUEZ
Managing Editor
editor@sbnewspaper.com
Michael Rodriguez
I find it both strange and surreal that people have taken such an interest in my more personal stories told within this space. For instance, throughout the week folks have inquired about my diet, the harassment case involving my family and whether I still have the painting that captivated me as a child—all subjects I’ve written about within the past year. Take into consideration my reluctance to write from the heart, especially since I’ve now opened the door to personal attacks.
Clearly, I realize that it’s fair game if I’m putting my private life in print, at least in the sense of scrutiny and not necessarily character assassination. Still, for these reasons—and more—It’s often frowned upon for an editor to delve into such territory. Then again, I’d like to think of myself as a human being when penning Consider This.
Yes, I’m the managing editor of the San Benito News and the topics discussed here often consist of that which affects the community at large. But I also feel that I’d be doing our readers a great disservice if they didn’t know exactly who was keeping them informed—that a God-fearing man living with regret for gaining an excessive amount of weight, for growing indifferent toward childhood friends and for never fully realizing the potential dearly-departed loved ones saw in him is also the person you have to trust.
Think of it this way: This column is a house you wish to inhabit, but you’d like to first check if it’s haunted before getting comfy.
Of course, it’s also therapeutic to give away so much of myself, and I have to give credit to others who have inspired me to be more open (namely reporters such as Heather Cathleen Cox and Francisco E. Jimenez), not to mention the death of one of my best friends, which left me with no choice but to embrace that side of me. For the most part, though, I simply want you to know me before you judge my work.
Believe it or not, there’s little else I have to tell you about myself (yes, I’m that dull), so consider all that I’ve disclosed thus far as more than just an FYI but perhaps an SYSKAM (something you should know about me).
I also hope others have found comfort in the fact that I’m just as screwed up as everybody else. In between columns expressing criticism of the San Benito CISD Board of Trustees there’ll be a little something about me that’s not very flattering. I guess the only difference in this case is that I acknowledge my shortcomings and aim to do better. And I don’t mean that as a jab at the board but as a testament to how hard I am on myself as I am on others.
To those who have taken an interest in matters dealing with my personal life: Thank you for caring. To answer your questions: God guides me in all that I encounter. If I’m struggling to continue my lifestyle change, it’s because will power can only manifest itself after experiencing self-doubt. If my family is continuing to be tormented by the wrongdoings of others, it’s because we’ll walk away from it a stronger, wiser and tighter-knit people. If I found inspiration in an old painting, it’s because I was led down that path. And if I’m touched by otherwise complete strangers’ concern for my well-being, it’s because someone greater somewhere greater loves a fool like me.
These are refreshing thoughts that move me to continue writing. After all, I consider the public response to my columns as a sign that I’m doing something right, which is also refreshing, especially given the fact that I’ve been wrong so much in my life.
In fact, I was wrong about a couple of things this week, and I feel inclined to acknowledge them here. I apologized on Friday to Celeste Sanchez, the Assistant Superintendent of Curriculum and Instruction for San Benito CISD, for snapping at her over a mere misinterpretation. Basically, I thought she was calling into question an innocent request I made when her intentions were actually just as innocent. That’s my bad, Celeste. And to my mother, who expressed to me via text message her disapproval of my new voicemail greeting (I guess because it sounds unprofessional): I’m sorry for always goofing off. I just can’t help being me.
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