CONSIDER THIS: The San Benito News – So good you have to steal it

By MICHAEL RODRIGUEZ
Managing Editor
editor@sbnewspaper.com

Michael Rodriguez

Michael Rodriguez

My wife tells me that my eyes widen when I try to tell a lie. What can I say? Honest men make unconvincing liars. It doesn’t help that I usually employ this failed tactic when attempting to camouflage my ulterior motives with a false sense of consideration. For instance, I often suggest going to a ridiculously-out-of-the-way electronics store to pick up items that can be purchased locally, knowing full well that when there I can easily persuade her to purchase all kinds of “goodies” that are unfortunately unavailable in our area; in my case, these items usually consist of musical gems on vinyl. My plan? Widen my eyes and offer the following: “We can pick up [insert whatever she’s craving at that particular moment] on the way!”

She’s putty in my hands.

While at work on Wednesday, I noticed a gentleman standing outside the San Benito News office, reading as much of the newspaper as he could from what was displayed on the rack. But before he ever put his two quarters into the machine, I knew what he was planning on doing.

“I’ll catch him in the act,” I thought. So I stood behind some blinds inside the office – this is me in stealth mode (no really, I could even hear the Mission Impossible theme song in my head) – and peered outside. Sure enough, I saw the man take at least five copies of the newspaper, but he only paid for one.

“I knew it!” I exclaimed, much to the bewilderment of the rest of the News staff, who thought their managing editor had transformed into a crazed stalker.

Then it happened. As the gentleman turned around and faced my direction, our eyes – the newspaper thief’s and the stalker’s – met. It was what I saw next that was unnerving, though.

The man’s eyes widened! And wouldn’t you know it … he tried to explain it away by forgetting to put more quarters in the machine. Likely story, sir.

The funny thing is that I saw in that man what my wife sees in me: mischievousness. Of course, we’re not going to sweat over a few newspapers going missing here and there (though we do keep track of every single copy, folks); after all, we look at it as the community being enthusiastic about the paper. Judging by our weekly rack reports, which have shown that no less than 10 to 25 percent of our issues are stolen, enthusiasm must be at an all-time high!

In fact, I’m seriously considering changing our bio information on Twitter and Facebook to: “The San Benito News – so good you have to steal it.”

What we have reported are the instances in which the machines are stolen and later found mangled and clawed at in a futile attempt to steal the quarters. It suffices to say that these people would feel right at home on truTV’s World’s Dumbest Criminals.

I’ve since made peace with the newspaper thief. Sure, I’m a bit put off by the fact that he’s an older man and should know better, but we still share a mischievous smile and a nod of the head, from one addict to another, from time to time.

Consider that when you love something, sometimes you resort to a bit of mischief to get what you want, to get what you need. So I can’t begrudge our readers the same, especially if it’s the News they want and need. What I will suggest is this: Let’s all try to live like role models, whose footsteps are followed and lives are looked up to by little ones and those who’re impressionable. Remember that, no matter what, there’s always someone watching us, be it a loving wife or a crazed managing editor.

By the way, you’re probably wondering about the picture accompanying my column. It’s dedicated to “Mike,” who on sbnewspaper.com asked my “sidekick” – Staff Writer Francisco E. Jimenez – and yours truly to refrain from publishing our photos. Really, Mike? Well, here’s to you, dawg. Enjoy.

Read this story in the Feb. 10 edition of the San Benito News, or subscribe to our E-Edition by clicking here.

Permanent link to this article: https://www.sbnewspaper.com/2013/02/08/consider-this-the-san-benito-news-so-good-you-have-to-steal-it/

1 comment

  1. It time to invent a newspaper machine that is attached to a business outside concreate wall like a atm machine and when money is deposited gives out only one newpaper . Pat. the machine and make money tossing the idea in to the shark tank.

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