HEATHER HOPES: It’s Good to Be You

By HEATHER CATHLEEN COX
Staff Writer
reporter@sbnewspaper.com 

Heather Cathleen Cox

To say I love to write is something of an understatement because writing is more like an extension of me than it is an actual effort. Writing and I were introduced before I even understood what it meant to put words together for a purpose. Many times, even still, I write almost as if the words are inside of me and trying to escape – through songs, stories, poetry, etc.

Over many years, I developed quite the array of work, which I was reluctant to share. In college, I even studied Creative Writing and facilitated a weekly creative fiction workshop, though sharing my personal work was always a rare occurrence.

A friend tried for nearly an entire semester before finally convincing me to attend a weekly poetry night that he facilitated at a local college coffee house. For someone who’d written at least 200 poems and even had some published, you’d think the thought of sharing one or two pieces with a group of thirtyish peers wouldn’t seem like a fate worse than death.

I had no idea how to stand before someone and recite something personal about heartbreak or pain. However, once I finally made the decision to scribe my name on the bottom line of a thin page, clipped to a brown board – to be announced as a reader – everything changed. When “Heather Cox” was called to the stage, I didn’t become suddenly more prepared or less nervous, but because I’d already done the hard part of showing up to face my fear, I was left with only two options: sink or swim. I collected my little spiral notebook, shaky ankles and made my way to the podium…where I read.

I didn’t die. Nor was I egged. So knowing what I know now, it’s easy to think I shouldn’t have allowed insecurities to keep me from being true to my core for 20-some-odd years. But the simple truth is I still struggle with the same insecurities today. What has changed is the fact I now refuse to allow insecurities to debilitate me.

It’s amazing what we can accomplish when we refuse to worry about other people’s opinions. In my few short months as a full time reporter and columnist, I have already received what used to be my biggest fear – the dreaded hater! A man who cyberbullies behind the screen name “WeThePeople” made some rude suggestions and unfounded accusations regarding my article “A Better Way Begins Today.”

WeThePeople said, “Your little tirade is offensive…to our entire community. Maybe you should go volunteer at the food pantry or one of the other agencies that serve the poor. Take off your rose colored glasses and wake up Pollyanna!”

There was a time in my life where such bullying might have made me think twice before writing another public piece. I’m a first-hand account of someone who has taken hold of Philippians 4:13, which says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” My King has called me to a life of sharing. He has given me a platform and provided grace to circumvent for haters. I don’t have to live in fear of bullies, and neither does anyone else!

When we live our lives in fear of the unknown, we limit the healing power of hope. Maybe you’re scared to the core to do something that is in your heart because you’re afraid someone might misconstrue or dislike your effort. If so, you are not alone.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. I believe there are strides being made by the government, schools, religious organizations and individuals just like you and me to be better about voicing our opinions. The truth is, we all have something to say, and we all have jobs to do. We don’t always have to agree with each other, nor must we all get along, but we should strive to be kind.

How is it okay for WeThePeople to publicly degrade me when he doesn’t even know me? I doubt he understood my article, because the premise of the article explains that I feel we can and should make a better way for ourselves, thusly creating a better way for our fellow human. I don’t normally feel the need to vindicate myself, nor is this an attempt at self-vindication, but I do wish to respond to WeThePeople, as publicly as he bullied me. Here goes:

WeThePeople, I do volunteer. I have worked with orphans, widows, homeless, churches, retirement homes, groups for individuals in recovery from substance abuse, women’s shelters, youth groups, young adult groups, school age children, college groups – and that’s just what I can recollect off the top of my head. You know where I work, which is at the San Benito News. If my word alone is not enough to convince you that I speak the truth, I invite you to show up at the office sometime. I will sit down with you and in a polite fashion provide you with references who can attest to the truth behind my claim. I don’t owe you, WeThePeople, anything, but through the brotherly kindness afforded me in my Savior’s name, I’m willing to oblige you.

Bullies don’t necessarily know (or care) how difficult it was for us to make the choices we make, to do what we feel we must. They don’t necessarily know what it took for us to get out of bed, take a stance, and put ourselves on the line for what we think is right.

Not everyone will like or support us. Some will not rest until they at least attempt to bring us harm. Though it may take everything we have, and though it may never be fully appreciated we must make the decision to be ourselves.

In Luke 6:22, Jesus said, “Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake.” When we know we’re doing what’s right for us, we have full authority from Jesus Christ to speak and act in line with the purpose of fulfilling our destinies.

In case no one has mentioned it recently, I’d like to tell you that it’s okay to be you. If others don’t like it, that’s their problem.